My HIV status won't prevent me from achieving my career goals

When I was very young, my parents passed away due to HIV. Some years later, I learned that I was also positive. I have faced stigma from society for my status. But I want people to understand that this is a manageable condition, and we can lead the same lives as everyone else. We shouldn't face discrimination.

I am 23-years old, and I was born and raised in Surat, India.

When I was about four, my dad passed away. It was only identified that he had HIV at the last stage of his illness, so he was never able to receive treatment.

Around a year later, in 2006, my mom also died. She had started receiving treatment for HIV after my dad tested positive, but she wasn't able to recover. Since then, I have been living with my maternal grandmother and uncle.

After my parents passed away, I wasn't immediately tested for HIV. It was a few years later, when my uncle asked for everyone in the family to get tested and that was when I discovered my status.

Everyone in the family tested negative, except for me. I was positive.

When my father passed away, none of his relatives came to the hospital to visit. They said they didn’t want to touch his body for fear of contracting HIV.

I am still in contact with my father’s side of the family, but they don’t ask me to come and visit. The stigma is there.

But people can get a disease at any time in their lives. Everyone faces problems. So, why should we live in fear?

HIV already has positive in its name, so why should we see it so negatively?

Even though I don’t remember much about my parents, I know my mother said that I should make my parents and my family proud.

Now, I aspire to support my community.

Since 2014, I’ve been receiving treatment for HIV through a non-profit community organization, The Gujarat State Network of Positive People – or GSNP+.

Back in school, I was absent a lot. During part of my treatment, I would get admitted to hospital for 10 - 15 days to ensure that there were no side effects.

At the time, the school called my uncle to ask why I was taking so much leave. We trusted them and told them about my HIV status. But they used it against me.

My school coach told my entire class about my status. After that, I faced derogatory comments from my classmates.

But some friends were supportive. They reminded me that I had done nothing wrong. I had contracted HIV at birth and so I shouldn't take people’s chatter to heart.

After school, I wanted to earn and become independent. But the school didn’t have anyone to guide us properly on what to do after graduating.

I have always been interested in arts and I wanted to do something creative. Two years ago, I was able to take skills development courses. With support from ILO and UNAIDS, I received training through the GSNP+ and studied computer literacy and sewing skills. 

The sewing course lasted for around six months. It started with basics on how to operate a sewing machine, how to cut fabrics and draw. Then we learnt how to create a finished product.

Now, I work from home sewing for friends and neighbours. With what I earn, I can cover my own expenses and help to support my family.

About a year ago, I decided to be open about my HIV status.

Before that, I was in a relationship with someone who was HIV negative. I was under pressure to not disclose my status to his family and, in the end, he refused to marry me.

I realized then why it's important to have an open status. I didn’t want to hide something like this. I wanted to live freely.

The right to life and personal liberty are in the Indian constitution. This is applicable for every citizen, even if you have HIV or another issue. So, we shouldn't face discrimination.

During my training, I met other people of my age living with the same diagnosis. It helped me to feel less alone. It gave me motivation to know that there are others in the same situation.

For the last two years, I have been a volunteer with the GSNP+, as I want to support my community.

Many young people are hesitant to share their issues with older members of the community, so it’s helpful for them to have a volunteer who is closer to their own age.

We ask them if they are facing any challenges and offer to visit their families to help them explain things to them.

Now that my status is open, other people are also willing to come forward and speak to me as they feel that I can understand them better.

In the future, I want to join the Indian police service or IPS. I’m currently studying online for the civil services exam. That is the goal I have set for myself.

I have already attempted the civil services exam once. Around that time, my grandmother had just become paralysed and when I didn't pass the exam, I was really depressed. I wanted to give up.

I spoke to the staff at GSNP+ about how I was unable to move on mentally. They gave me a lot of support and I managed to start prepping for the exam again.